Oh well, I guess you can’t walk in to a consultant’s room and expect to walk out with the answers you wanted and that was the situation I found myself in this afternoon. Mr Malik was very frank and answered my questions honestly and I have to accept that he knows his stuff. So rather disappointingly, it appears I need another operation with only a 30% chance of a successful outcome. The triceps muscle has “stuck” to the bone. This is why it isn’t working. An operation to peel the muscle from the bone and remove the scar tissue will take three months to recover from. The problem arose as a result of the severity of the damage to the elbow, it had to be immobile for three months, in this time the triceps stuck itself to anything it could find, so next time it will get freed off and physio can start sooner preventing the sticking to occur.

The nerve issues around my elbow are a permanent result of the surgery and they won’t get any better, so I have a lifetime of pain to look forward to from nerve damage as well as the arthritic pain I am already suffering. Lastly if I try to compete at archery without the cocking aid, I will shorten the useful life of the joint. I went in there with a glimmer of hope and came out 0-3 . I have to hope for a rule change for the archery, I have a 1 in 3 chance of getting full muscle use and my arm is going to hurt forever. Sweet.

So in a way it was a bit of a bonus that my new camera has arrived today and is in perfect working condition, it is easy to use, is light and portable and from a few test shots seems to take a good photo. I will once again be able to fill my blogs with pictures and spend nights making them into the shots I wanted to take. We are out and about on Saturday, so hopefully the weather will be favourable.

We spent a little bit of time continuing the ancestry research, mostly focussed on my great Grandfather Herbert. One of the saddest things was finding out his medals were auctioned back in 1997. I don’t know how they got into a doctor’s private collection or where they ended up but I feel upset that they are in the hands of someone who only sees them as a pieces of metal. He was born on the Army Barracks, joined the same regiment as his Father and Uncle at the age of 14, served all over the globe for 21 years, seeing battle in the Boer war in two of the bloodiest battles in what must be considered a black era in British history and being among the first to rejoin following the outbreak of the Great War. There is so much to discover and this is only but a part of the story. At the moment I feel lost in the details and the wealth of information available but I am sure we will make some sense of it all.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist, who will be asking how I am coping with my return to work and I don’t really know what I will say. I hoped the dust would have settled by now, that the unknown endings would be at least be in sight but alas I have upgraded to IOS6 and the map is a little blurry.


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